Sometimes, words can't explain the way you feel and it is hard to express yourself. Fortunately, I included 16 emoticons that I have found most useful when communicating with society as a professional writer/communicator.
;-) = "I can make any situation less awkward. See. 'You are fired. Take care! ;-)'"
B-) = "I wear sunglasses inside, at night, in dimly lit establishments, to make it clear that I am a douchebag. Really, I'm doing you a favor, so stop HATIN."
:(&) = "I eat with my mouth open, NOM NOM NOM. Cheesy Puffs!"
|:-( = "I am not happy with my unibrow."
>.< = "I can't stop eating warheads even though my gums have shriveled up and I think I contracted acid-tongue-disease. I need MORE WARHEADS! Warheads taste like puke! Yay!"
O=;) = "I am Benjamin Rotstein. I am super successful top chef. I make a mean double whopper. Come visit me at the 24 hour drive-through window. I will be wearing my paper hat."
!,! = "Hi. I am a Bunny! No, I'm not a rabbit. I am a bunny, bunny, BUNNY, I SAID BUNNY!"
( . ) ( . ) = "I have big boobs."
( . Y . ) = "I have even bigger boobs. I win!"
( Y ) = "I have no clue what you are Twitter. You make me seem like an unproductive member of cyber-net-society and that makes me mad. I meant to look you up for so long, see what the brouhaha is all about, but I have better things to do like draw in my blogs and make spaghetti and debate whether or not to shower today. You make no sense to me, so take a look at that. Butt!"
8==D = "I am Penisface!" or "Just want to be clear, my penis is this big, I hope this is not a deal breaker, tata."
._^ = "My only hit was Sloth. You know, the Goonies? Uch.."
J:-| = "I am not amused with this haircut that resembles a flock of seagulls flying out my head. So STOP LAUGHING like an asshole."
~;-) = "Harry Potter here. Cheerio. Colour Favourite Flavour OU OU OU."
:-Q = "Drool."
8@) = "Oink oink, I am a pig." or "I am sticking my dirty face up against your expensive car window."
:( | ) = "Monkeyface!"
[December 2, 2010] Tweet